Sarah Alexander

Since her twin brother, Eddie, drowned five years ago, sixteen-year-old Elsie Main has tried to remember what really happened that fateful day on the beach. One minute Eddie was there, and the next he was gone. Seventeen-year-old Tay McKenzie is a cute and mysterious boy that Elsie meets in her favorite boathouse hangout. When Tay introduces Elsie to the world of freediving, she vows to find the answers she seeks at the bottom of the sea.

Late at night and a phone call that Will Not Die. You know how sometimes you can't get someone off the phone? There are too many people in this phone call. And one of them isn't really there. Meanwhile, Susan is worried she's turning into an emotional tent; she and Steve are now well and truly an item – so why is he dreaming about being executed by a method Never Before Seen on British Television - and chased by a foetus with an axe?

Is it possible that life-time loser in love Oliver might just get somewhere with life-time loser in love Jane? Trouble is, how can you win the heart of a good woman, when your fl at is a little 'un-edited', and your living room has lost the battle with magazine nudity?

The night before the birth of his first child, Steve is visited by an old friend. Or possibly an old maths teacher…Meanwhile, someone is trying to get into Jane's flat, and an extraordinary secret is lurking inside the cupboard of Patrick's love.

Steve and his best friend, Jeff, head for the wine bar where Steve has decided he is going to dump his longstanding girlfriend once and for all. Meanwhile Susan and her best friend, Sally, are heading towards the same destination with equal determination. Is this the evening when 'he' is going to propose? But all is not as it seems.

Patrick is sporting a new — and very gay — haircut. Steve is appalled to find that Susan is recording something on the VCR. In an advanced state of shock and horror, he remains uncertain as to whether she's spotted his porno tape — Lesbian Spank Inferno. Jane is astonished to hear that Steve told Susan he loved her, something he failed to say to her throughout the five years of their relationship...

Something stirs in Sally's bedroom. It's three in the morning, and Patrick has been called out to rescue Sally from a spider in her bedroom. This event causes them both to reflect on their very different recollections of their first meeting at Susan's office party 4 years ago. While Jeff expounds on Porn Jelly and his eight thousand names for breasts, Patrick has to face an uncomfortable truth. Is there some kind of emotional thing with Sally? What...

Steve seems incapable of making any decisions, and Susan is beginning to despair. When her new French client starts picking holes in her work over the phone, she tears her off a strip - in fluent French. Richard, a pleasant looking guy of the same age, grins oafishly at her - he really likes French women. "But I bet you've got a boyfriend", he says. Susan hesitates. "Oui" she replies. A guilty Steve finds himself exchanging phone numbers with an attractive...

Three eggs, three women, three possibilities. Now Sally's blurted out how she feels to Patrick and has convinced herself it's not meant to be. More importantly, she really, really doesn't want to produce a bald, noisy thing that will destroy her life - and decides to use Jane and Susan as a pregnancy control test, which leads to some unexpected revelations.

Steve has been having problems with being witty and eloquent on the phone to Susan. Susan invites him 'round for supper at her place. As Jeff expounds on "the sock gap" and offers advice on foreplay and his theory on celebrity marriages, he has no idea Susan can overhear everything. Meanwhile, Patrick invites Sally on a date to a motor show. Elsewhere, to everyone's surprise, Jane materializes with Howard, a particularly good-looking young man.